At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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