if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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