So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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