I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize