y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize