well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
