well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
