We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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