I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
