What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
