If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize