I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
