Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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