i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
