just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
