Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
