I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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