He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
