I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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