he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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