Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
