omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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