Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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