The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
