Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I faked an abortion last night.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
