I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
