Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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