I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
