oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There's always time for handjobs
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
