10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
