oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
