I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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