respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
