did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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