I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
