i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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