before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
