You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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