I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
