I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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