Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
