Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
