cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
