there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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