I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
