This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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