What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
