Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
