Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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