Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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