Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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