I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She's the barista slut.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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