FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
