Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
