How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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