fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
