Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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