quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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