when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
