i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
