PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
